Monday, November 28, 2005

Unloading the Hole in the Back of My Head

Okay, so I've been horribly neglectful of my blogging duties, and for that I am sorry. To make it up to you, I have a completely unformed and random series of thoughts as they pass through my head. Let's do this shit Larry King style!

Of the many things I was thankful for this Thanksgiving, my initially ugly -- yet unarguably comfortable -- old-man slippers are pretty high up on my list.

Fact: there is nothing like a holiday weekend to bring hacky country music "superstars" on to network television. Faith Hill, Kenny Chesney, you made the TV set so easy to fall asleep in front of this year.

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire was the best Potter movie I've seen yet. So very, very good. Brendan Gleeson can really ham it up with the best of them.

So, when exactly did Grey's Anatomy become my favorite drama on TV? Seriously, when? All of a sudden I'm on that shit like Bush on Al Jazeera.

Speaking of which, remind me some time to run down all the things I've learned from my new blogging job. At the top of that list would definitely be knowing how to identify a crazy right-wing blog just by its banner. Mostly, I think it involves the Liberty Bell and Latin phrases, but I could use a little more time to flesh the theory out.

Why am I so strangely excited to see Aeon Flux? For some reason, I just think it looks so cool. It's got that sci-fi quirk that I love, in which everyone is dressed like an extra from Madonna's "Bedtime Stories" video for no good reason. And, yes, Dune had the same tendency. Also, what is up with "Bedtime Stories" being such a referential touchstone for me? It explains so much, from sci-fi costumes, to creepy anatomically incorrect CGI, to the downfall of Kurt Loder's career. Because, if I'm recalling correctly, Loder hosted the world premiere of that video, a premiere which involved Madonna reading a "bedtime story" to a bunch of profoundly frightened children. That was back when Loder's official occupation wasn't so much "MTV News stiff" as "Madonna lapdog." But that position would soon be taken by Rosie O'Donnell, then Rupert Everett, and finally her little Kaballah string bracelet.

More importantly: Why do I know this? Why do I have all this useless MTV knowledge in my brain? What quantum physics theory would I have to learn that's weighty enough to push out the fact that I remember "Dead at 21"? Why does the name "John Sencio" hold any meaning for me? Why do I hold to the Kennedy/Duff/Bill Bellamy era as the "Golden Age"? Why would I even bother holding stubbornly to the belief that Cindy Crawford was the only true host of "House of Style," and Rebecca Romijin was only a pale impostor? Ditto Jenny McCarthy, "Singled Out," and Carmen Electra. Why do I think I could bust out 3,000 words on why the MTV Beach House was so much better when Daisy Fuentes was around? What did they do to my brain??

Okay, more of my random thoughts later. Clearly I need to regroup.

1 comment:

Judi said...

You are totally right. All Carmen Electra did was either look confused or do that ass shakey thing.